Thursday, July 24, 2008

They're GREAT...for other people

The chick that sits in the ceiling-less box next to me at work had a baby. She did not have it at work, and it was six weeks ago. (Maybe I should have led with that) At approximately 3pm this afternoon, she brought the little bundle by for a visit and the entire 7th floor of my building shut down so that every woman within baby head smelling distance could ooh and ahh and grasp at tiny baby toes.

I swear, you could hear the ovaries throbbing in that crowd.

New Mommy fielded questions from her audience about sleeping habits, quantities of nutrition ingested, and general baby ooey gooey-ness. All the while, the little angel was sleeping peacefully in my arms while I rocked back and forth, gazing at her perfect little nose and impossibly long eyelashes. In my own little world with the baby, I thought to myself:

"Thank the sweet baby jesus that I never have to wipe feces off of my children ever again."

Then I handed the baby to the next woman and told New Mommy how wonderful having a baby that age is. And I didn't lie even a little bit.

I'm just glad as HELL that I never have to go through it again.

Then I came home and kissed my rotten kids (ignoring their screams of terror) because they don't make me wash bottles, smell like formula puke, or turn my eyes red from lack of sleep. God bless 'em.



Anonymous said...



catherine said...


The Wrath of Dawn said...

And thrice, AMEN!!!

Although I do love babies. I just prefer the kind that I can hand back.

Mahala said...

Sometimes I think I still want one.. but I don't want to cook my own. I think I want take out. From China. Like.. a 2 yr old. And name her Ethel Rene'.