Tuesday, September 2, 2008

You guys suck

I know, it's not a title most likely to keep people reading, but really...

The readers that had their pretty/handsome noses shoved way far up my ample bottom have abandoned me. If I'm not writing about penises or making fun of socially retarded people, I have no audience. Only one dear man continued contact briefly, and he was a newbie here.

What does that say about you? Huh?


Saturday, August 23, 2008

We're mostly back

We miss vacation already.

Twelve hours ago, we were all barefoot and sandy. The reality of being back here has hit us all pretty hard, especially since where we were was so much more like HOME than where we live.

We're all a bit glum right now. The dog and I are having the hardest time, I think. I've never visited such a wonderfully friendly and free place in my life. Mayberry surrounded by sea.

I didn't miss reality in the smallest amount. I worried about work, of course, but I can't say that I really missed anything. I didn't miss blogging at all. For even a tiny second.

I think I'm done here, folks. Those of you that know my email from the previous blog, feel free to contact me there. I'll also have the email for this one up for a while longer: enigmataco@gmail.com.

I hope you all had a wonderful week. I KNOW I did.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I need a geeky hero!

I can NOT find a *free* photoblog template for Blogger that actually works. Does anyone know where I can get one?

Frankly, I'm lazy and an hour of Googling is a bit much for me. I've got bags to pack, y'know!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Farts is funny

Sigh. Have nothing going on but kid stuff and preparations for vacation. I'm not a mommy blogger and detailing what I'm packing is boring. I got nothing.

Unless you wanted to hear about the old woman who peeked under my bathroom stall today and then cut some of the nastiest farts I've ever heard in my life. After each one she said, "Whoopsies!"

I might have told everyone on the 7th floor of my building, so I may as well tell the internet. I just wish I knew which old lady it was, so I could giggle every time I see her from now on.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Fishes and wishes

In less than 5 days, I will be tooling down the interstate towards relaxation. Sand. Sun. Air that does not reek of sewage treatment plants and humanity...just salt and fish and the diesel moving the fishing boats. That's perfume as far as I'm concerned.

We opted for a seaside vacation away from the tourist traps, this year. Two miles of island, inhabited by mostly year-round residents. A post office, marina, and a grocery/bait shop/convenience store/diner, surrounded by homes and water. No souvenir shops and no mini-golf. No overpriced pizza parlors that use ass for ingredients. Quiet. Bliss.

No telephone in the house that is less than five joyful leaps from the water that meets our front yard. A view of both a distant lighthouse and another island inhabited by wild ponies, through my bedroom window. The porch faces west and I will no doubt spend every evening in the hammock, snapping pictures of the sunset show. I will drink many frozen alcoholic drinks and cook many meals over charcoal.

Now if I could only convince the other seven people on the trip roster to stay home....it would be damn near perfect.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Wuv, twue wuv*

I think the John Edwards Humpgate** has been on everyone's minds lately, bringing with it the feeling of insecurity about people in general. He was revered by scores as a family man, bravely and devotedly standing by his poor, ailing wife, while pursuing a seemingly straightforward political career.

Wicked bad fail.

Far be it from me to trust ANYONE who works in politics, but he flew low on my bullshit radar and was I truly surprised to hear about his affair. Mostly because I thought he was smarter, not necessary good. How could someone who had millions of eyes on him and thousands of noses in his business believe that he could get away with such a thing? This is not the 1950's, and these are not your father's reporters. They WILL find the dirt.

On a much wider level, though, it brought me back to pondering the point of devoting your life to someone who will most likely fuck you over. AKA: Marriage.

As I've aged matured, I've come to appreciate longevity in relationships. Not that I know anything about them. To be honest, it's hard to find non-fiction examples of such things.

My best friend and his wife have been married for seven years - together for twelve. They honestly enjoy and adore each other. However, he had an affair four years ago that lasted for six months. It didn't change how he felt about his wife or where their lives were headed, but it happened. How? There was no strife at home...he's honestly one of the kindest people I've ever known...it just doesn't compute.

That's what's so damn scary to someone like me, who has a hard time turning it all over to another person in the first place.

Another long-time friend of mine has been with her husband for ten years now, and they have three children. Before their first child was born, she had an affair with an old boyfriend and spent the next year doubting her marriage because of it. Again, no love lost and no problems in the marriage.

In my mind, it's very hard to accept 'commitment' and 'vow' as tangible words when I know very few married couples have practiced them according to their definitions. I have a hard time committing to a cell phone contract and I have never seen the same hair dresser more than twice, so you might say that I'm not a steady-as-a-rock type of chick...unless it comes to what or who I love. Therefore, it may come as no surprise to some of you that I have been single for quite a while, with all of this fear tucked into my hatband.

I'm fairly certain that I won't marry again, but I don't rule it out. I'm just honestly terrified, because in order for me to commit to another person again, I will have to trust, respect, and love that person 100%. But there are two people in that equation, and one person giving 100% does not mean that the other person doesn't phone it in with 20% sometimes. The examples I gave above prove (to me, at least) that even a good person can break a bond. Even a person totally in love with their spouse can forget their vows.

So, is marriage something that can even exist as it was intended anymore? Has it become a negotiable contract instead of a beautiful testament to love and family? What do you think?

*Best. Movie. Ever.

**Copyright, bitches